I was beginning to take down our Christmas tree this morning when I had a thought... "This thing sure is easier to deconstruct than it is to assemble." It takes time to put it together. Fluff the branches (yes, we have a fake tree), string the lights, space them perfectly so they're not all bunched up, hang the ornaments, wait... that's too many red ones close together, spread them out, put the important ones out front, put on the tree skirt, and lastly, put that bright star on top. It's time consuming and this is why we didn't assemble our pretty tree until about 3 weeks ago. We have to drag everything out of the garage, sort through it all, make sure the lights are in working order, discard broken ornaments (happens every year), hang everything, make it all pretty and picture perfect. Decorating for Christmas truly is a sucker of time. :)
The other day, Garrett walked through the living room while we were watching something on TV. Now when Garrett walks into a room, you usually know it by the sounds and noises he makes. The kid cracks me up. He's always singing, rapping, making weird noises or dancing while listening to his ipod. He's happy and he knows how to enjoy the little things. That's one of the things I adore about him. Very rarely is he in a really bad mood and if he is, you probably wouldn't know it unless you know him REALLY well. He's just that kind of kid. Well, this particular day, he was singing and making noises as we were "trying" to watch this program. We missed part of what was said, so I backed up the DVR (I love my DVR) and watched that section again. Right at the time the guy on TV was repeating what I had missed, Garrett let out this war cry for no particular reason. Ugh. I said "Garrett, please!!!! I am trying to hear this. Why must you constantly make noises and scream everywhere you go???" Immediate regret hit me. Seriously Misty? This kid is happy and enjoying his trip to the refrigerator and you are trying to watch a documentary that means nothing at all... and you get irritated with him?? What a jerk you are!! As the regret was sinking in, I looked at his face. He was trying to brush it off as good humor, but I could tell that my words had cut him. He gave me a half grin and said "Fine then! I'll just shut up and go to my room." Oh man. I'm such a schmuck!!! I apologized and he said it was no big deal. But it was. It was a big deal to me. I have spent years trying (and many times failing) to allow my kids the freedom to talk and be heard. I have to admit that in the last year, my attention span and memory has made it very difficult to listen and communicate and it's very frustrating to me... and, I imagine, my family. But that is absolutely NO excuse for my cutting words out of selfish frustration.
Just like assembling the tree, I have spent time and effort assembling my family and our communication skills. They're not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. My tree has never been perfect either. BUT, I took pride in the fact that my family, and my tree, had all the necessary ingredients to be beautiful and, to me, it was. Then, in one fail swoop, I have the power to deconstruct this beautiful creation with speed and ease. Yikes. All that hard work gone.
Our relationships are built, cared for, nurtured and hopefully, with love, constructed with thought and precision. They're beautiful and they're time consuming. Anything worth having takes work. Anything that is to be appreciated and admired has an "assembly" time. Be aware that the deconstruction process is fast and will sometimes catch you off guard. The key is to NEVER be off guard.
The Bible says in Proverbs 4:23 "Guard your heart above ALL else, for it determines the course of your life."
In Luke 6:45, it says "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."
Lord, help me guard my heart, my mind and my tongue. I want to be a part of the building-up process... not the deconstruction of something beautiful.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
DNA vs. Environment
Wow. It's been a long time since I last blogged. My brain is FULL!
This particular blog is something that's been brewing for a while. Bear with me cause I know what I'm going to try to say, but it may take a minute to get there.
I am an incredibly blessed woman. I know this for sure. Besides the obvious blessings like a home, car, kids, clothes, food and salvation, (definitely NOT in that order) I have an extra blessing. A fantastic family. I am constantly saddened by those friends who have awful family relationships. My heart goes out to them when I know they must "endure" a get together at holiday time or for birthdays. It's so sad to me that they can't enjoy their family. It makes me realize that my family is not normal in that it is (for the most part) very happy and healthy. I added the in-parenthesis-statement because we have our spats, but it always ends in love and forgiveness. We are not a bitter group of people and we do not hold grudges or throw people's pasts in their faces. We move on and love deeply the best we know how.
I have a daddy. His name is Tim. He has loved me from day one. He got up with me in the middle of the night as a baby. When I had a boo-boo, he would kiss it and put a band-aid on it. He whooped my butt when it was necessary. When I made the softball team, he practiced throwing and batting with me A LOT. When I got my heart broken for the first time he hugged me and told me that he was sorry some "dumb ol' boy" made me sad. When I went out with friends for the first time with out parental supervision, he was the one pulling into the parking lot of the putt putt place because I was already 5 minutes past curfew. He has protected me too many times to count and prayed for me even more. I LOVE HIM!
I also have a father. His name is Dan. He was just a young boy of 15 when I was conceived. He didn't have the opportunity to be a part of my life until many years later. I met him for the first time when I was 15. We had written letters back and forth (we didn't have email back in the olden days) and spoke on the phone once. I was so curious to meet him. I found out that he wanted to meet me too. I also found out that he loved me too! Strange. How can that be when he doesn't even know me? That's hard for a kid to comprehend.
I remember when I was told that the only dad I had ever known wasn't my "real" dad. It was after I had asked my mom about the birds and the bees (wink wink) and she finished the little talk with "God intended this for marriage. He doesn't want you to have sex before marriage." I instantly remembered seeing home movies of me AT MY PARENTS WEDDING! Whaaaaa?? So naturally, I asked "Why did you and dad?" Mom said "Let's pray." I instantly began to cry because I could sense something big was about to happen. Dad was working the night shift and they had always planned on telling me together. Here she was having to tell me with no support. That had to have been so hard... She told me about Dan and about their teen years together and how they really cared for each other, but God had something else in store for me. I was a little bit on overload I think. I don't remember a whole lot more about that night.
I do remember the next day though. We were having hamburgers and hot dogs for lunch. Mom said we needed more buns. Dad was getting ready to leave and get more. He said, "Hey Mist, you wanna go with me?" YEAH! I jumped in the car with him and headed to the store. Then he spoke. I can almost hear him now.... "I heard you and your mom had a talk last night. I wish I could've been there. I just want you to know that I don't care that you're not considered my "blood" daughter. You will always be my daughter. Nothing will ever change that." I remember crying. I remember feeling so secure. I also remember feeling like no one was loved like I was. After all, he didn't have to love me... he chose to love me.
Through the years, the relationship I have with each of them has changed. Daddy is still my daddy. He's an amazing man and I thank God for allowing me to have him in my life every day. He's an amazing Pappaw to my kids and he loves spending time with them. He's a fantastic husband and has set an example of what a husband should look like. (He spoils my mom rotten!) ;) I love him so much.
The relationship between me and Dan began slowly, nervously. I was very aware of how protective Dad was of me and I didn't want to hurt him or make him feel like he was being replaced. But at the same time, I had a deep seated urge to meet my biological father. I was beginning to wonder if I laughed like him (I do), if I walked like him (I do), if I would see myself in his eyes if I looked at him (and I do). It was an overwhelming desire that I couldn't identify at the time. I remember meeting him for the first time. He had flown in from Florida just to meet me. I was nervous. He was even more nervous! I wanted him to be proud of me. He wanted me to not be disappointed in him. It was so bizarre!! And it was completely exhilarating! I wanted to know as much about him as possible.
Long story short, today, Dan is a fantastic man to have in my life. Dan is my friend and my family. He's sober, happy, and serving Jesus with his whole heart. He has great advice and it's from a perspective I am unfamiliar with (which makes it very valuable!). He has taught me a LOT about living a life of deep gratitude and living in the moment. He is a loving, compassionate man and he is a blessing to many people in his life. He is priceless to me. I love him too!!
There are things that I inherited from my father that I couldn't have from my dad. There are things that I have gained from the environment my dad provided that I couldn't have gotten from my father. God has used ALL of these things. God knew that He needed a certain DNA and a certain environment to make a "ME". And He wants that "ME" to do a specific job that he designed just for "ME" to do! How cool is that???? The love that I receive from each of them and feel for each of them is a huge bonus! :)
DNA vs. Environment. What was given to me on the day of my birth and what did I learn from my environment?
As a follower of Christ, I must continually ask myself "Is this from my environment (the sinful world I live in, the yuck of this world) or is this my FATHER'S DNA?" To keep my heart pure, I have to always always always strive to reflect the DNA of my Heavenly Father. His very essence is love. It can't be anything but love. Anything contrary to love would be out of His character. I fail daily in keeping with His character... but I'm working on it and getting better at listening to the Holy Spirit when he lets me know my epic failures are not in line with my Father. I don't want to be a product of my worldly environment, but of my Heavenly Father's DNA. **
I was blessed abundantly with AMAZING MEN in my life... a Daddy, a biological father, and two wonderful fathers-in-law... not to mention the grandpas that taught me so much and loved me deeply and the uncles who are still encouraging to me. But nothing, absolutely NOTHING compares to the love of my Heavenly Father. And it's His DNA, His essence, His example I am seeking to follow for the rest of my life.
**All of you science geeks out there reading this... I know I'm using "DNA" scientifically incorrect in the end. Get over it. You know what I mean.** ;)
This particular blog is something that's been brewing for a while. Bear with me cause I know what I'm going to try to say, but it may take a minute to get there.
I am an incredibly blessed woman. I know this for sure. Besides the obvious blessings like a home, car, kids, clothes, food and salvation, (definitely NOT in that order) I have an extra blessing. A fantastic family. I am constantly saddened by those friends who have awful family relationships. My heart goes out to them when I know they must "endure" a get together at holiday time or for birthdays. It's so sad to me that they can't enjoy their family. It makes me realize that my family is not normal in that it is (for the most part) very happy and healthy. I added the in-parenthesis-statement because we have our spats, but it always ends in love and forgiveness. We are not a bitter group of people and we do not hold grudges or throw people's pasts in their faces. We move on and love deeply the best we know how.
I have a daddy. His name is Tim. He has loved me from day one. He got up with me in the middle of the night as a baby. When I had a boo-boo, he would kiss it and put a band-aid on it. He whooped my butt when it was necessary. When I made the softball team, he practiced throwing and batting with me A LOT. When I got my heart broken for the first time he hugged me and told me that he was sorry some "dumb ol' boy" made me sad. When I went out with friends for the first time with out parental supervision, he was the one pulling into the parking lot of the putt putt place because I was already 5 minutes past curfew. He has protected me too many times to count and prayed for me even more. I LOVE HIM! 
I also have a father. His name is Dan. He was just a young boy of 15 when I was conceived. He didn't have the opportunity to be a part of my life until many years later. I met him for the first time when I was 15. We had written letters back and forth (we didn't have email back in the olden days) and spoke on the phone once. I was so curious to meet him. I found out that he wanted to meet me too. I also found out that he loved me too! Strange. How can that be when he doesn't even know me? That's hard for a kid to comprehend.I remember when I was told that the only dad I had ever known wasn't my "real" dad. It was after I had asked my mom about the birds and the bees (wink wink) and she finished the little talk with "God intended this for marriage. He doesn't want you to have sex before marriage." I instantly remembered seeing home movies of me AT MY PARENTS WEDDING! Whaaaaa?? So naturally, I asked "Why did you and dad?" Mom said "Let's pray." I instantly began to cry because I could sense something big was about to happen. Dad was working the night shift and they had always planned on telling me together. Here she was having to tell me with no support. That had to have been so hard... She told me about Dan and about their teen years together and how they really cared for each other, but God had something else in store for me. I was a little bit on overload I think. I don't remember a whole lot more about that night.
I do remember the next day though. We were having hamburgers and hot dogs for lunch. Mom said we needed more buns. Dad was getting ready to leave and get more. He said, "Hey Mist, you wanna go with me?" YEAH! I jumped in the car with him and headed to the store. Then he spoke. I can almost hear him now.... "I heard you and your mom had a talk last night. I wish I could've been there. I just want you to know that I don't care that you're not considered my "blood" daughter. You will always be my daughter. Nothing will ever change that." I remember crying. I remember feeling so secure. I also remember feeling like no one was loved like I was. After all, he didn't have to love me... he chose to love me.
Through the years, the relationship I have with each of them has changed. Daddy is still my daddy. He's an amazing man and I thank God for allowing me to have him in my life every day. He's an amazing Pappaw to my kids and he loves spending time with them. He's a fantastic husband and has set an example of what a husband should look like. (He spoils my mom rotten!) ;) I love him so much.
The relationship between me and Dan began slowly, nervously. I was very aware of how protective Dad was of me and I didn't want to hurt him or make him feel like he was being replaced. But at the same time, I had a deep seated urge to meet my biological father. I was beginning to wonder if I laughed like him (I do), if I walked like him (I do), if I would see myself in his eyes if I looked at him (and I do). It was an overwhelming desire that I couldn't identify at the time. I remember meeting him for the first time. He had flown in from Florida just to meet me. I was nervous. He was even more nervous! I wanted him to be proud of me. He wanted me to not be disappointed in him. It was so bizarre!! And it was completely exhilarating! I wanted to know as much about him as possible.
Long story short, today, Dan is a fantastic man to have in my life. Dan is my friend and my family. He's sober, happy, and serving Jesus with his whole heart. He has great advice and it's from a perspective I am unfamiliar with (which makes it very valuable!). He has taught me a LOT about living a life of deep gratitude and living in the moment. He is a loving, compassionate man and he is a blessing to many people in his life. He is priceless to me. I love him too!!
There are things that I inherited from my father that I couldn't have from my dad. There are things that I have gained from the environment my dad provided that I couldn't have gotten from my father. God has used ALL of these things. God knew that He needed a certain DNA and a certain environment to make a "ME". And He wants that "ME" to do a specific job that he designed just for "ME" to do! How cool is that???? The love that I receive from each of them and feel for each of them is a huge bonus! :)
DNA vs. Environment. What was given to me on the day of my birth and what did I learn from my environment?
As a follower of Christ, I must continually ask myself "Is this from my environment (the sinful world I live in, the yuck of this world) or is this my FATHER'S DNA?" To keep my heart pure, I have to always always always strive to reflect the DNA of my Heavenly Father. His very essence is love. It can't be anything but love. Anything contrary to love would be out of His character. I fail daily in keeping with His character... but I'm working on it and getting better at listening to the Holy Spirit when he lets me know my epic failures are not in line with my Father. I don't want to be a product of my worldly environment, but of my Heavenly Father's DNA. **
I was blessed abundantly with AMAZING MEN in my life... a Daddy, a biological father, and two wonderful fathers-in-law... not to mention the grandpas that taught me so much and loved me deeply and the uncles who are still encouraging to me. But nothing, absolutely NOTHING compares to the love of my Heavenly Father. And it's His DNA, His essence, His example I am seeking to follow for the rest of my life.
**All of you science geeks out there reading this... I know I'm using "DNA" scientifically incorrect in the end. Get over it. You know what I mean.** ;)
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