Not much on tv on Saturday afternoons. I'm doing laundry and little piddly stuff around the house and was wanting something interesting to watch while folding laundry. I found "interesting" all right...
National Geographic TV. It's almost always entertaining, not always appropriate, very seldom true to the biblical worldview that I hold and that that I'm teaching my children. So we watch "with caution". Today, I caught a show about Leprosy. Sam immediately said "I thought that stuff was pretty much obsolete." No, says the man on the tv. It's in quite a few places and, despite the advanced antibiotics that can cure it, it's still spreading. Did you know even a few hundred cases have been reported in the good ol' USA??? Shocking. We truly got an education on leprosy... and it was VERY interesting! Sad and kind of icky... but interesting.
The particular story that intrigued me was about a young woman who lived in a leper colony with her parents. Both of her parents had leprosy and they were shunned by their society. They moved to a leper colony over 30 years ago and haven't left since. They raised their perfectly normal and perfectly healthy daughter in this same leper colony. She is in her early 20's and has friends on the outside, but she doesn't tell them about her family. She's afraid that she, too, will be shunned. In short, she's comfortable with the lepers. They have already accepted her. Why would she choose to go anywhere else?
I know a little girl. She's actually not so little anymore. She's in her early twenties. She's expecting her first baby. She's not married and as time goes on, it's revealed that the relationship she's in is not healthy. Okay, not healthy is an understatement. It's a horrid situation that has very little hope of bringing anything but pain in the future and she should RUN from it for the sake of her own life as well as the baby's life. But... she's not. She is choosing to stay in that lifestyle of filth and sadness and heartache. We're having a hard time understanding why. She's the type of girl that lights up the room with her smile. She's sweet, kind-hearted and loving. She loves to surprise people with little notes or homemade gifts. She enjoys the little things in life. I love her so much.
After watching this show, I realized that this little girl / young woman with child that I know and love is stuck in her own leper colony. For some reason she believes she belongs there with them. She has the opportunity to leave. She has several escapes that are safe and good and easily available. This is her choice to stay where she is. She's not "stuck" in a physical sense, but in a mental sense.
I heard once (from my very wise pastor) that every problem is really a TRUTH problem. The more I experience for myself and through others, the more I agree with that statement. For instance, if you believe the "truth" that you can only be happy when you have a lot of money, then you will do almost anything to get more of it. If you believe the "truth" that you may have heard from someone in your childhood... "You'll never amount to anything... you're no good... you're worthless...", you will live according to that "truth".
The real question is "What truth will you believe?" I choose to believe God's truth when He tells me I am more than a conqueror, I am His daughter because He has adopted me, I will never be forsaken or left alone and I am able to do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I didn't always believe these truths, but today I do and I stand firm on them.
Somewhere along the line, this girl that I love had her "truth" twisted and warped. I'm praying she comes back to the truth of God that she once experienced. I am praying she gets very uncomfortable in her leper colony and realizes that, although she is not better than them, she is not one of them anymore.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Superficial Wounds
Women have a tendency to look at themselves in a critical way. We look in the mirror and see every wrinkle, bump and lump that is out of place. We see where our skin used to be smooth and taut. We see our hair getting limp, fine and lacking in its original luster. We see where our children have permanently left their mark on us before they were even born.
The sad truth is that a lot of women actually have the audacity to look at OTHER women in that same critical way. We can see a woman and pick apart her outfit, her hair color and her makeup in seconds. Let's not even discuss what we think about their comfortable shoes or their 6 year old purse that was purchased at Walmart.
My question is... WHY? Why do we care what others choose to wear? Why would I care how you would choose to wear your hair? Your favorite color is purple and so you want purple streaks in your hair... should I care about that? Does it personally affect me? Can I somehow find it offensive if you decide not to update your closet with brand new clothing every season?
I'm not just picking on women... Men are just as bad. No guys, you're not off the hook here.
Now don't get mad at me yet. I'm not talking about the few of you that enjoy all aspects of fashion. By all means, have a blast with it. I'm also not talking about letting yourself go to the point of not using soap or laundry detergent. I hope you recognize what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about shallow, superficial ignorance that can cause severe damage. When these judgments and comments come out of your mouth, they can leave wounds that can take years to heal...and some never really do.
Just because these wounds are about superficial things does NOT mean they are superficial wounds. They go deep and can cause a lot of damage.
Have you ever met a really attractive person only to be completely disgusted by them when you get to know them? In turn, have you ever met a "homely" person only to discover later that they are honestly one of the most beautiful people you've ever met? Yeah, me too.
1 Peter 3:3-4
Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
I challenge you to look beyond appearances. I challenge ME to look beyond appearances.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Once upon a time...
I sit here this morning with memories flooding my mind. Some are so good that I wish I could live in those memories again... some are so awful that I wish my mind would erase them. (Where is that DELETE button for memories anyway?)
16 years ago today, my world changed forever. I was 21 years old, had two little boys ages 2 and 7 months old. I was married to Terry Daniel Retz.
As most young couples starting out, we had our issues and our times of turmoil... but he was my friend and he could make me laugh faster than anyone else could.
There was rarely a dull moment with him. He loved to go mountain bike riding and compete in races... the big town of "Gnaw Bone" was one of his favorite places to go riding. He also loved music (all kinds) and he really loved playing softball. He was great at it! I remember when he ran, it was like he had wheels on... rounding the bases with ease and speed. His favorite part was when he slid into base and got some nasty strawberry rashes as his badge of courage. "Look! This is a nice one! You might have to dig some gravel out of there for me, babe" he would say with a big cheesy grin that was in place to hide the pain.
He was scared to death when I told him I was pregnant. Neither one of us were ready to be parents...we were teenagers for crying out loud! But after the shock and fear faded, and the reality of the upcoming baby set in, he got anxious and excited. I was due on Jan. 23rd... and I went WAY past my due date. A couple weeks before the baby was born, he said "I think you've made it entirely too comfortable for this kid and it has decided it's not going to be born. Time to make it uncomfortable!" He then proceeded to take me for long drives on very bumpy roads every chance he got. HA!
He loved Nascar and especially Rusty Wallace. I have no clue why he liked him so much, but it made for a good rivalry with his brother who was a die-hard Dale Earnhardt fan. They loved going to races together. Terry loved his brother so much! There was about a 10 year age gap between them, but Terry looked up to his older brother. My favorite memories of the two of them together consist of them getting the giggles at the supper table and having to leave the room to calm down. Their giggles were contagious... and laughter usually erupted over things that only they found funny. The rest of us would laugh at their laughter.
These are all great memories. I cherish them. There are a million more where those came from, but I think I'll keep them to myself. =)
Here are the memories I wish I could erase:
*The phone call from my sister-in-law saying Terry had been in an accident and I needed to get to the hospital.
*The look on the emergency room receptionists face when I gave her my name and Terry's name.
*The look on my father-in-law's face when he told me Terry was dead.
*The feeling I had when my best friend couldn't bear to look me in the eyes and see my pain.
*The tightness of the hug from my brother-in-law in the emergency room and the helplessness that I felt with him sobbing on my shoulder.
*The look on my mother-in-laws face when I had to be honest with the tissue transplant team when they asked me if Terry had taken drugs in the last 48 hours. (There are some things a mother doesn't want to hear...)
*My two year old son asking me when daddy was coming home... 2 days after he died.
*Cleaning the shaving stubble out of our bathroom sink after he was gone... and thinking how stupid it was for me to get mad about having to clean it up all the times before that.
*The morning after he died, Father's Day 1995, waking to realize it wasn't a bad dream.
I write this today, 16 years after his death, so that I can remember and so that others can remember with me. Those who knew him will always miss him. Those that didn't know him will only be able to hear stories and know bits and pieces of him. I wish everyone could have known him...
I have several friends who have lost loved ones and spouses in the last couple of years. I may not understand all of the circumstances surrounding your pain and experience, but I do understand the feeling of loss and helplessness and fear and uncertainty. It's as if your whole world has been picked up and shaken. And now you and you alone are left to find the pieces of your life and put them back together after you thought they were already set in place. It's scary and daunting.
There will be times you don't feel like God hears your cries. He does. There will be times you feel totally alone. He promised to NEVER leave you alone and He's there even when you can't feel it. There will be times when your future is so unclear that you don't even want to go there in your mind, let alone in reality. He is already there. Lean on Him because He is steady, strong and unchanging. He WILL see you through this time.
16 years ago today, my world changed forever. I was 21 years old, had two little boys ages 2 and 7 months old. I was married to Terry Daniel Retz.
As most young couples starting out, we had our issues and our times of turmoil... but he was my friend and he could make me laugh faster than anyone else could.
There was rarely a dull moment with him. He loved to go mountain bike riding and compete in races... the big town of "Gnaw Bone" was one of his favorite places to go riding. He also loved music (all kinds) and he really loved playing softball. He was great at it! I remember when he ran, it was like he had wheels on... rounding the bases with ease and speed. His favorite part was when he slid into base and got some nasty strawberry rashes as his badge of courage. "Look! This is a nice one! You might have to dig some gravel out of there for me, babe" he would say with a big cheesy grin that was in place to hide the pain.
He was scared to death when I told him I was pregnant. Neither one of us were ready to be parents...we were teenagers for crying out loud! But after the shock and fear faded, and the reality of the upcoming baby set in, he got anxious and excited. I was due on Jan. 23rd... and I went WAY past my due date. A couple weeks before the baby was born, he said "I think you've made it entirely too comfortable for this kid and it has decided it's not going to be born. Time to make it uncomfortable!" He then proceeded to take me for long drives on very bumpy roads every chance he got. HA!
He loved Nascar and especially Rusty Wallace. I have no clue why he liked him so much, but it made for a good rivalry with his brother who was a die-hard Dale Earnhardt fan. They loved going to races together. Terry loved his brother so much! There was about a 10 year age gap between them, but Terry looked up to his older brother. My favorite memories of the two of them together consist of them getting the giggles at the supper table and having to leave the room to calm down. Their giggles were contagious... and laughter usually erupted over things that only they found funny. The rest of us would laugh at their laughter.
These are all great memories. I cherish them. There are a million more where those came from, but I think I'll keep them to myself. =)
Here are the memories I wish I could erase:
*The phone call from my sister-in-law saying Terry had been in an accident and I needed to get to the hospital.
*The look on the emergency room receptionists face when I gave her my name and Terry's name.
*The look on my father-in-law's face when he told me Terry was dead.
*The feeling I had when my best friend couldn't bear to look me in the eyes and see my pain.
*The tightness of the hug from my brother-in-law in the emergency room and the helplessness that I felt with him sobbing on my shoulder.
*The look on my mother-in-laws face when I had to be honest with the tissue transplant team when they asked me if Terry had taken drugs in the last 48 hours. (There are some things a mother doesn't want to hear...)
*My two year old son asking me when daddy was coming home... 2 days after he died.
*Cleaning the shaving stubble out of our bathroom sink after he was gone... and thinking how stupid it was for me to get mad about having to clean it up all the times before that.
*The morning after he died, Father's Day 1995, waking to realize it wasn't a bad dream.
I write this today, 16 years after his death, so that I can remember and so that others can remember with me. Those who knew him will always miss him. Those that didn't know him will only be able to hear stories and know bits and pieces of him. I wish everyone could have known him...
I have several friends who have lost loved ones and spouses in the last couple of years. I may not understand all of the circumstances surrounding your pain and experience, but I do understand the feeling of loss and helplessness and fear and uncertainty. It's as if your whole world has been picked up and shaken. And now you and you alone are left to find the pieces of your life and put them back together after you thought they were already set in place. It's scary and daunting.
There will be times you don't feel like God hears your cries. He does. There will be times you feel totally alone. He promised to NEVER leave you alone and He's there even when you can't feel it. There will be times when your future is so unclear that you don't even want to go there in your mind, let alone in reality. He is already there. Lean on Him because He is steady, strong and unchanging. He WILL see you through this time.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Secrets
So there's a secret that I've been keeping for a long time now. It's not a secret to my family and most of my friends already know this about me, but it's not been "out there" for public consumption before now. Is your curiosity peaked? Okay... here goes...
I have MS (multiple sclerosis).
I was diagnosed over 10 years ago and I have been in a daily battle with it since then. There are days that I almost feel normal and can continue on with my day as if it doesn't exist. Then there are times like the past few weeks where it's so big and ugly that it cannot be ignored or forgotten and the battle is raging full force.
I always hesitate and even avoid telling people I carry around this disease because I loathe the look of pity on someone's face. There's not much worse than feeling pitiful. So please understand that I'm not spilling my guts here to get pity or sympathy. "So what's your point in telling people now, Misty?" Yeah, I asked myself that before I started typing this. It's a good question. It's a legitimate question.
In the "addiction/recovery" field, there is a saying that is "You are only as sick as your secrets." I've thought a lot about that saying in the last few months. For the most part, it's true. Secrets can eat at you and cause you to hide things, lie and feel shame and guilt. Does that mean that EVERYTHING should be placed on the table for public scrutiny?? No way. Believe me, there are certain things that we, the public, appreciate not knowing! =) But there are certain things that are pretty stupid to keep secret. And it's exhausting! =)
I was awake at 2:30 this morning because I'm fighting some kind of sinus/cold/head issue and it was coupled with my normal aches and pains and burning sensation and knotted muscles. (Summer is the absolute WORST time of year for me. Heat is my enemy!) I felt horrible! I got out of bed, came downstairs and took some medicine and got on my laptop. Then I did something I have never done before. I got on facebook, went through my friends list, and prayed for each one of my friends. A lot of them have issues of life going on and I felt like it was a good time to lift them up and get my focus off of me for a while. For some of them, I didn't know what to pray, so I just prayed general "blessing" prayers for them. I wished I knew more specifically what they needed from the Lord. Then it dawned on me... I'll bet a lot of my friends who know how to pray have no clue what kind of prayers I need! By keeping this disease a "secret", I've cheated my friends as well as myself out of a blessing! And that makes me a fool.
So, my awesome friends, if you ever wake in the middle of the night and start praying for your friends and you come to me on your list, you now know what I need prayer for... I need a miracle. Thanks for your prayers.
I have MS (multiple sclerosis).
I was diagnosed over 10 years ago and I have been in a daily battle with it since then. There are days that I almost feel normal and can continue on with my day as if it doesn't exist. Then there are times like the past few weeks where it's so big and ugly that it cannot be ignored or forgotten and the battle is raging full force.
I always hesitate and even avoid telling people I carry around this disease because I loathe the look of pity on someone's face. There's not much worse than feeling pitiful. So please understand that I'm not spilling my guts here to get pity or sympathy. "So what's your point in telling people now, Misty?" Yeah, I asked myself that before I started typing this. It's a good question. It's a legitimate question.
In the "addiction/recovery" field, there is a saying that is "You are only as sick as your secrets." I've thought a lot about that saying in the last few months. For the most part, it's true. Secrets can eat at you and cause you to hide things, lie and feel shame and guilt. Does that mean that EVERYTHING should be placed on the table for public scrutiny?? No way. Believe me, there are certain things that we, the public, appreciate not knowing! =) But there are certain things that are pretty stupid to keep secret. And it's exhausting! =)
I was awake at 2:30 this morning because I'm fighting some kind of sinus/cold/head issue and it was coupled with my normal aches and pains and burning sensation and knotted muscles. (Summer is the absolute WORST time of year for me. Heat is my enemy!) I felt horrible! I got out of bed, came downstairs and took some medicine and got on my laptop. Then I did something I have never done before. I got on facebook, went through my friends list, and prayed for each one of my friends. A lot of them have issues of life going on and I felt like it was a good time to lift them up and get my focus off of me for a while. For some of them, I didn't know what to pray, so I just prayed general "blessing" prayers for them. I wished I knew more specifically what they needed from the Lord. Then it dawned on me... I'll bet a lot of my friends who know how to pray have no clue what kind of prayers I need! By keeping this disease a "secret", I've cheated my friends as well as myself out of a blessing! And that makes me a fool.
So, my awesome friends, if you ever wake in the middle of the night and start praying for your friends and you come to me on your list, you now know what I need prayer for... I need a miracle. Thanks for your prayers.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
An oldie but a goodie!
I had this story in my computer files and thought I would resurrect it. Enjoy and I hope it makes you think.
( It gets me every time!! )
( It gets me every time!! )
Author Unknown
The Room
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index cards. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order…
But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings…
As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “People I Have Liked”. I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one…
And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life…
Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening the files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching…
A file names “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed”. The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I Have Read”, “Lies I Have Told”, “Comfort I Have Given”, “Jokes I Have Laughed At”. Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve Yelled at My Sister”. Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in Anger”, “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents”…
I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped…
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 30 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth…
Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature…
When I pulled out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened to”, I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of the music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented…
When I came to a file marked “Lustful Thoughts”, I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded…
An almost animal rage broke in me. One thought dominated my mind: “No one must see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!”…
In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took the drawer from one end and began pounding it on the ground, I could not dislodge a single card! I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot…
Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With”. The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand…
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all…
The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I have to lock it up and hide the key…
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again…
He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me. Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card…
“NO!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine…
It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side…
He said, “It is Finished” and walked out of the room. There was no lock on the door. There were still cards to be written…
Monday, April 25, 2011
Floods are Coming!
It's raining. Again.
I've heard several people talk over the last few days about floods. Most of these people lived through the devastation of a flood in the past. They've seen the damage firsthand and they are fully aware of the possibilities. They speak of floods with a bit of fear in their voices.
What do we know of floods? We know that they destroy. We know that they are capable of killing. We know that they can happen in an instant... or slowly over time. We know that there are many different circumstances that can cause floods.
While talking with a co-worker, I had a revelation of sorts. Bear with me while I try to sort this out and make it useful for all of us.
He was talking about the flood a few years ago that hit Columbus and Franklin HARD. There were hundreds of homes and businesses devastated by the flood waters. He said that there was a huge amount of water coming in the basement of our business, so they tried pumping it out. They thought they were having success until they realized that more water was coming in. The flood waters weren't rising any more and the rain had stopped... where was the water coming from? They finally figured out that the ground around our building was so saturated that the water being pumped out had nowhere else to go but back inside! They were very busy pumping water out only to have it come right back in! Talk about fighting a losing battle...!!
Over the weekend, my church, Grace Assembly of God, put on a production called "The Last Adam". It was a very clear message of Jesus and our need for a Savior and how/when sin came into the world. There was a scene about Noah and the ark God told him to build to escape the coming flood and save his family and animals. We all know the story in its most simplistic form, but think of the magnitude of flooding the entire earth! Katrina was NOTHING comparatively speaking!
That was when I had a thought...
What if the flood was of LIVING WATER?
In John chapter 4, Jesus spoke about this living water while having a conversation with a Samaritan woman. Read it.
Lets go back to what we know of floods...
*We know that they destroy. So what would a flood of living water destroy? It would destroy pride, anger, addictions, hate, fear, hopelessness, sin.
*We know that they are capable of killing. What would living water kill? It would kill the sinful man... the human natured man... the double minded man.
*We know that they can happen in an instant... or slowly over time.
There is a Hillsong United song that we sing at our church called "Welcome In This Place". Some of the lyrics are:
Rise up within me
Living Water
Spirit of God in me
You are welcome in this place
You are welcome in this place
God of power love and grace
Saturate my soul
Let the floods begin!!!!
I've heard several people talk over the last few days about floods. Most of these people lived through the devastation of a flood in the past. They've seen the damage firsthand and they are fully aware of the possibilities. They speak of floods with a bit of fear in their voices.
What do we know of floods? We know that they destroy. We know that they are capable of killing. We know that they can happen in an instant... or slowly over time. We know that there are many different circumstances that can cause floods.
While talking with a co-worker, I had a revelation of sorts. Bear with me while I try to sort this out and make it useful for all of us.
He was talking about the flood a few years ago that hit Columbus and Franklin HARD. There were hundreds of homes and businesses devastated by the flood waters. He said that there was a huge amount of water coming in the basement of our business, so they tried pumping it out. They thought they were having success until they realized that more water was coming in. The flood waters weren't rising any more and the rain had stopped... where was the water coming from? They finally figured out that the ground around our building was so saturated that the water being pumped out had nowhere else to go but back inside! They were very busy pumping water out only to have it come right back in! Talk about fighting a losing battle...!!
Over the weekend, my church, Grace Assembly of God, put on a production called "The Last Adam". It was a very clear message of Jesus and our need for a Savior and how/when sin came into the world. There was a scene about Noah and the ark God told him to build to escape the coming flood and save his family and animals. We all know the story in its most simplistic form, but think of the magnitude of flooding the entire earth! Katrina was NOTHING comparatively speaking!
That was when I had a thought...
What if the flood was of LIVING WATER?
In John chapter 4, Jesus spoke about this living water while having a conversation with a Samaritan woman. Read it.
Lets go back to what we know of floods...
*We know that they destroy. So what would a flood of living water destroy? It would destroy pride, anger, addictions, hate, fear, hopelessness, sin.
*We know that they are capable of killing. What would living water kill? It would kill the sinful man... the human natured man... the double minded man.
*We know that they can happen in an instant... or slowly over time.
There is a Hillsong United song that we sing at our church called "Welcome In This Place". Some of the lyrics are:
Rise up within me
Living Water
Spirit of God in me
You are welcome in this place
You are welcome in this place
God of power love and grace
Saturate my soul
My sincerest prayer today is that Jesus would cause His living water FLOOD your soul and destroy the things that are destroying you.
I don't care if it happens instantly or over a period of time, I just pray that it happens.
And I pray that the floods would saturate your soul so that the living water would flow freely out of you in such abundance that it has no where else to go but back to you.
Let the floods begin!!!!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Life Sentence or Full Pardon?
Once in a while, I watch this show called "Lockup". It's a documentary style show focusing on people kept in prison. It's sometimes sad, sometimes funny and always thought provoking. There have been a few times that it's been very scary and disturbing to watch (and that's why I limit my time watching it).
There was one episode in particular where the prisoner being interviewed changed his demeanor and countenance so quickly that it scared the interviewer. He went from jovial and cheery to sneering and hateful in 2.6 seconds. One of the guards noticed the difference in him and immediately put a stop to the interview for the safety of the film crew. The warden said that he was normally a very cordial inmate and had experienced only minimal behavioral problems from him... until recently. Apparently, the prisoner had gotten worse as time went on.
The interviewer found another guy who was sitting in his cell reading his Bible. He had been in prison for quite a while and it was for murder. He had killed someone in a drunken rage. Since his incarceration, he had earned his GED, taken some college courses, learned 3 languages (2 fluently) and had read the Bible through many, many times. He also led a chapel meeting twice a week for other inmates. He had changed in a different way while in prison.
What was the difference between these two men? Why had one gotten worse and the other gotten better? They were both incarcerated for murder, both had been there for over 20 years, they both had the same resources at their disposal, and they came from very similar backgrounds... Didn't seem to make sense...
I've spent some time thinking of various types of prisons lately. Of course there's the example I just gave of the literal prison. Then there's the physical prison due to physical limitations on the body (ie. broken leg, brain damage, neurological diseases, etc.) and spiritual prison of the soul and various mental prisons.
I have this vision of being in prison and Jesus comes to visit me. He sits outside my cell and just keeps me company. We talk and laugh and cry together. And then He hands me a key and teaches me how to use it. It is my key to freedom. I see the key. I hold the key. He tells me how to use the key. I try once and I fail. He encourages me to try again. I try again, but I didn't do things exactly as He said and I fail again. He encourages me still. I finally listen to Him and He was right!! It worked and I am finally freed from my cell!! As I walk out of my prison, I see other prisoners trying to get out. They are using their own materials and making their own keys and they don't work. They're using what appear to be keys, but they are not real. They get frustrated and angry. They keep trying other methods, but none work. They are all alone in their quest for freedom and they don't have anyone encouraging them to keep trying. I ask Jesus to go help them with their freedom too and He says "You asked for my help. Some have not. Others have, but won't do what I say. They're not ready to give up their own way yet."
I see people everyday trying to escape from their prisons. They try things on their own and they continually fail. Over and over, time after time, they try and fail. When will they learn? What will it take for them to finally realize that they do not hold the keys to freedom? Sometimes they go to friends for advice... and then they quickly realize that their friends are simply fellow prisoners with their own cells they're trying to escape. They have no answers... not REAL answers.
Only One does. His name is Jesus. He holds the keys to your freedom. Are you tired of trying on your own yet?
There was one episode in particular where the prisoner being interviewed changed his demeanor and countenance so quickly that it scared the interviewer. He went from jovial and cheery to sneering and hateful in 2.6 seconds. One of the guards noticed the difference in him and immediately put a stop to the interview for the safety of the film crew. The warden said that he was normally a very cordial inmate and had experienced only minimal behavioral problems from him... until recently. Apparently, the prisoner had gotten worse as time went on.
The interviewer found another guy who was sitting in his cell reading his Bible. He had been in prison for quite a while and it was for murder. He had killed someone in a drunken rage. Since his incarceration, he had earned his GED, taken some college courses, learned 3 languages (2 fluently) and had read the Bible through many, many times. He also led a chapel meeting twice a week for other inmates. He had changed in a different way while in prison.
What was the difference between these two men? Why had one gotten worse and the other gotten better? They were both incarcerated for murder, both had been there for over 20 years, they both had the same resources at their disposal, and they came from very similar backgrounds... Didn't seem to make sense...
I've spent some time thinking of various types of prisons lately. Of course there's the example I just gave of the literal prison. Then there's the physical prison due to physical limitations on the body (ie. broken leg, brain damage, neurological diseases, etc.) and spiritual prison of the soul and various mental prisons.
I have this vision of being in prison and Jesus comes to visit me. He sits outside my cell and just keeps me company. We talk and laugh and cry together. And then He hands me a key and teaches me how to use it. It is my key to freedom. I see the key. I hold the key. He tells me how to use the key. I try once and I fail. He encourages me to try again. I try again, but I didn't do things exactly as He said and I fail again. He encourages me still. I finally listen to Him and He was right!! It worked and I am finally freed from my cell!! As I walk out of my prison, I see other prisoners trying to get out. They are using their own materials and making their own keys and they don't work. They're using what appear to be keys, but they are not real. They get frustrated and angry. They keep trying other methods, but none work. They are all alone in their quest for freedom and they don't have anyone encouraging them to keep trying. I ask Jesus to go help them with their freedom too and He says "You asked for my help. Some have not. Others have, but won't do what I say. They're not ready to give up their own way yet."
I see people everyday trying to escape from their prisons. They try things on their own and they continually fail. Over and over, time after time, they try and fail. When will they learn? What will it take for them to finally realize that they do not hold the keys to freedom? Sometimes they go to friends for advice... and then they quickly realize that their friends are simply fellow prisoners with their own cells they're trying to escape. They have no answers... not REAL answers.
Only One does. His name is Jesus. He holds the keys to your freedom. Are you tired of trying on your own yet?
Friday, March 18, 2011
Oblivious!!
Oblivious people. People who are not consciously aware of what is going on around them. You see them all the time and may even be one yourself. *gasp!* You are so wrapped up in whatever YOU have going on that you miss life happening all around you.
One of my pet peeves is to be in the grocery store and have some woman take up the entire aisle as if she owns it... completely unaware of the crowds standing around her. We just want her to choose her peanut butter and get out of the way! An aware person realizes that there is plenty of room in a grocery store aisle for two carts to go through in opposite directions. Think traffic on the road... this is how it should be done. The oblivious person walks with her cart directly in the middle of the aisle so that she can get to things on both sides more conveniently. The oblivious person is demonstrating her belief that it's "all about me" and could care less that you are even in existence. So annoying!
Sometimes I wish I were more oblivious. Let's face it... it's easier.
*I want to cry for the woman in the checkout lane who has a newborn and just gave the cashier WIC vouchers and everyone in line behind her just looked at their watch and sighed a sigh of inconvenience.
*I want to go to the grocery store and get enough food for the weekend for the homeless man holding up a sign stating he's hungry and will do work for food.
*I want to smack the woman who swears at her child and calls them stupid.
*I want to hug the addict who is at the end of their rope and is relying on the hope that other people hold for him because he has none of his own left to hold on to.
If I were oblivious, I wouldn't notice these things and they wouldn't bother me as much as they do.
God didn't make me oblivious. Actually, I don't think He made ANYONE oblivious... we make ourselves that way. Pride, pain, resentment, anger, foolishness... all these and more can make you oblivious to the truth going on around you.
Start paying attention. Take a moment to look around you and see what God sees. Make it a point to NOT be oblivious today. What do you see? What should you do about it?
One of my pet peeves is to be in the grocery store and have some woman take up the entire aisle as if she owns it... completely unaware of the crowds standing around her. We just want her to choose her peanut butter and get out of the way! An aware person realizes that there is plenty of room in a grocery store aisle for two carts to go through in opposite directions. Think traffic on the road... this is how it should be done. The oblivious person walks with her cart directly in the middle of the aisle so that she can get to things on both sides more conveniently. The oblivious person is demonstrating her belief that it's "all about me" and could care less that you are even in existence. So annoying!
Sometimes I wish I were more oblivious. Let's face it... it's easier.
*I want to cry for the woman in the checkout lane who has a newborn and just gave the cashier WIC vouchers and everyone in line behind her just looked at their watch and sighed a sigh of inconvenience.
*I want to go to the grocery store and get enough food for the weekend for the homeless man holding up a sign stating he's hungry and will do work for food.
*I want to smack the woman who swears at her child and calls them stupid.
*I want to hug the addict who is at the end of their rope and is relying on the hope that other people hold for him because he has none of his own left to hold on to.
If I were oblivious, I wouldn't notice these things and they wouldn't bother me as much as they do.
God didn't make me oblivious. Actually, I don't think He made ANYONE oblivious... we make ourselves that way. Pride, pain, resentment, anger, foolishness... all these and more can make you oblivious to the truth going on around you.
Start paying attention. Take a moment to look around you and see what God sees. Make it a point to NOT be oblivious today. What do you see? What should you do about it?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Random Love
I was sitting at work today, drowning in files that needed auditing and bills that needed paying... when out of nowhere, my phone *dings* and let me know I had a text message. The message read "I love you mom" and it was from my youngest son, Garrett. I wore a nice grin for quite some time after I read that. Of course I replied that I love him too. You have to understand that we are a very affectionate family and we frequently express how we feel (good, bad and ugly), so it's not like the sentiment itself surprised me... it was the randomness of it that caught me off guard. **POOF** He thought of me and loves me. Cool. It made my day.
I have a handful of friends that mean a great deal to me. They are there for me through thick and thin... they double my joys and divide my pains. My friends are tried and true and absolutely irreplaceable. I usually don't hang up the phone after talking to them without telling them that I love them. It may seem weird to some, but I learned a long time ago that it just may be the last chance I have to tell them how I feel... so I take the opportunity and try not to let it slip by. I have another friend who encourages me frequently with random texts saying things like "I'm glad you're in my life", "Thank you for being there for me" and of course "I love you". It brings a smile to my heart every time.
Anyway, about 2 hours after I received the text from my son, I was auditing client files (yes... STILL) and I was listening to KLOVE on the computer. A song caught my attention and I began to think about the blessings in my life and how every single one was a gift from my Heavenly Father. I just whispered "I love you God". Then I wondered if that made Him smile the way my son's random love made me smile. I imagine it did. I hope so. I really want to make God smile.
I have a handful of friends that mean a great deal to me. They are there for me through thick and thin... they double my joys and divide my pains. My friends are tried and true and absolutely irreplaceable. I usually don't hang up the phone after talking to them without telling them that I love them. It may seem weird to some, but I learned a long time ago that it just may be the last chance I have to tell them how I feel... so I take the opportunity and try not to let it slip by. I have another friend who encourages me frequently with random texts saying things like "I'm glad you're in my life", "Thank you for being there for me" and of course "I love you". It brings a smile to my heart every time.
Anyway, about 2 hours after I received the text from my son, I was auditing client files (yes... STILL) and I was listening to KLOVE on the computer. A song caught my attention and I began to think about the blessings in my life and how every single one was a gift from my Heavenly Father. I just whispered "I love you God". Then I wondered if that made Him smile the way my son's random love made me smile. I imagine it did. I hope so. I really want to make God smile.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Easier to Give than to Receive
The Word of God says "...it is more blessed to give than to receive." (Acts 20:35) Non-Christians repeat this portion of scripture like it's theirs... like it's a profound new way of thinking. What's worse is that it's usually put in a context of false humility after giving a nice gift of some kind. Sad.
Anyone who has given a gift that the receiver loves knows this verse is true. There is so much joy in giving my kids the perfect gift at Christmas or giving a friend a little gift that is unexpected. It's FUN to have that kind of joy from giving.
Anyone who has given a gift that the receiver loves knows this verse is true. There is so much joy in giving my kids the perfect gift at Christmas or giving a friend a little gift that is unexpected. It's FUN to have that kind of joy from giving.
I learned something yesterday and continued learning it tonight. Not only is it more blessed to give than to receive, but it's much EASIER to give than to receive. It is very uncomfortable to receive something for yourself... at least it is for me. My husband asks "What do you want for Christmas?" and I reply "I don't know. Nothing really. I have everything I need and most things I want." He gets frustrated. Understandable. I'd be frustrated too. I'm getting better at naming exactly what I want from him (after him pleading with me for10 years), but it's still uncomfortable for me. I know I'm not alone in this... am I??
It causes a problem when I don't ask for help from my friends or ask for prayer from my loved ones. Why do I do that? I know that I'm having a hard time with something or that I am having some physical problems, but I don't go to the ones I trust most in my life and say I need HELP!! Why? I guess it boils down to pride. I don't want to be weak or dependent on someone else, so I "deal" with it on my own. How's that workin' for me, you ask? Not too well. It would work a lot better if I had prayer warriors lifting me up. That's a guarantee.
One of my friends found out about a physical issue I've been dealing with and her question to me was "How am I supposed to pray for you if I don't know what you need prayer for?" Good question. I have no answer. There is no answer. She needed to know. I should have told her. She needed to be given the opportunity to GIVE and, in turn, be blessed by giving to me. I think I am being a pest if I ask for prayer. In actuality, I am robbing my friend of a blessing when I don't ask. I think I am being self-sufficient. In actuality, I need to be dependent on God and His people because that's how he created it to be. I think that other people have it far worse than I do and I am being a whiner if I say I need help. In actuality, someone will always have it worse than I do, but that's does not lessen my need and it does not make me a bratty, needy child...it actually makes me mature and humble when I ask for help.
I'd still rather give than receive, but God's showing me that receiving isn't just for me...it's so others can receive too. I'm still learning...
Lord, help me receive from you and from those around me who are working on Your behalf.
Lord, help me receive from you and from those around me who are working on Your behalf.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!
Sometimes it's hard to tell the truth from a lie. Lies come in all shapes and sizes.
Some are blatant lies and when you hear them, you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing at the person trying to persuade you of its authenticity. "I used to be an English professor at a major university", says the man who can't spell any word above a 5th grade reading level. Those are the kinds of lies that are sad and humorous at the same time. The thing that always baffles me about those kinds of lies is the fact that the liar is obviously assuming that the hearer is a moron. =/
There are other lies that are sneaky and manipulative in nature. "I'm sure their parents will be home during the party, mom." It's believable. It might even be true. As a parent, you know to check anyway. Those sneaky, manipulative lies are the ones that we parents come to expect. (I am SO happy when I'm proven wrong!)
I used to lie. I used to lie A LOT! I lied to be accepted, to stay out of trouble, to lessen the punishment of trouble I was already in, to manipulate and, sometimes, for no real reason at all. No reason at all... really? Yep, really. What could possibly be the reason for lying about what you had for lunch? Mom asked, "What did you have for lunch today?" and I replied "Pizza" knowing full well that my body was still digesting the hamburger and fries I had ingested a couple hours earlier. Why did I lie? I have no idea. Sometimes I think it was just to see if someone would believe it. The more people believed the stupid lies, the more confidence I gained in my ability to lie. So then I got braver with my lies. It was a never ending cycle.
Praise God, I don't have that issue anymore. I find the truth liberating and I find honesty refreshing. That's why I love being around kids...especially ages 2-5. They have no idea how to be "politically correct" or careful with their words. They tell it like it is. What a welcome break from adult rhetoric that is! I don't have to guess how they feel and I LOVE that!!
If you are reading this, and I have hurt you in the past by lying to you, please accept this as my sincere apology. I know I hurt many people with my lies and it's a regret that I live with daily. No, I don't think I'm blowing this out of proportion... lies hurt. There's a reason why God hates lies.
Truth is always the best policy. Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it's hard, but it's still God's design. Of course there is wisdom and tact and they should absolutely play a part in the telling of the truth to someone. Sugar coat it if necessary, but tell the TRUTH.
Some are blatant lies and when you hear them, you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing at the person trying to persuade you of its authenticity. "I used to be an English professor at a major university", says the man who can't spell any word above a 5th grade reading level. Those are the kinds of lies that are sad and humorous at the same time. The thing that always baffles me about those kinds of lies is the fact that the liar is obviously assuming that the hearer is a moron. =/
There are other lies that are sneaky and manipulative in nature. "I'm sure their parents will be home during the party, mom." It's believable. It might even be true. As a parent, you know to check anyway. Those sneaky, manipulative lies are the ones that we parents come to expect. (I am SO happy when I'm proven wrong!)
I used to lie. I used to lie A LOT! I lied to be accepted, to stay out of trouble, to lessen the punishment of trouble I was already in, to manipulate and, sometimes, for no real reason at all. No reason at all... really? Yep, really. What could possibly be the reason for lying about what you had for lunch? Mom asked, "What did you have for lunch today?" and I replied "Pizza" knowing full well that my body was still digesting the hamburger and fries I had ingested a couple hours earlier. Why did I lie? I have no idea. Sometimes I think it was just to see if someone would believe it. The more people believed the stupid lies, the more confidence I gained in my ability to lie. So then I got braver with my lies. It was a never ending cycle.
Praise God, I don't have that issue anymore. I find the truth liberating and I find honesty refreshing. That's why I love being around kids...especially ages 2-5. They have no idea how to be "politically correct" or careful with their words. They tell it like it is. What a welcome break from adult rhetoric that is! I don't have to guess how they feel and I LOVE that!!
If you are reading this, and I have hurt you in the past by lying to you, please accept this as my sincere apology. I know I hurt many people with my lies and it's a regret that I live with daily. No, I don't think I'm blowing this out of proportion... lies hurt. There's a reason why God hates lies.
Truth is always the best policy. Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it's hard, but it's still God's design. Of course there is wisdom and tact and they should absolutely play a part in the telling of the truth to someone. Sugar coat it if necessary, but tell the TRUTH.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Just the Beginning
My brain is always full of things to say, but I don't always say them. Why? It depends really. Sometimes I think what's in my brain would sound stupid if it came out of my mouth. Other times I realize that just because I'm thinking it doesn't mean that it should come out of my mouth. Sometimes it's because I have no one to tell or no real outlet for that thought. And, if I were completely honest, I would admit that I feel like maybe God is trying to speak through me and I am too busy arguing MY point about being stupid or irrelevant to actually obey Him.
That is where this blog comes in. This is my outlet. This is where I will lay it all on the line and get real with some things. I'm still a tad bit apprehensive. I mean, this is all about ME and MY thoughts and MY experiences. Who's gonna care? Maybe no one. Maybe someone. Definitely not everyone. If I've already lost you and you're saying "I don't care!!", then you have my apologies and you are excused from reading any further in my blog space. Ever. No really... don't humor me... don't read anymore. It will prevent you and I from experiencing undo frustration. =D
You may be wondering about the title of my blog. Misty's Brain Drain. My husband came up with that. I told him I was going to start a blog and that I was trying to come up with a title for it. I stated that I had thought of "Misty Unleashed", "Inside My Head", "Deep Thoughts by Misty" or "All Kinds Of Stuff". I was still seriously considering "Misty Unleashed", but I was afraid it would sound a little too doggy... and with a name like Misty, I have been compared to people's pets my entire life. I wasn't completely sold on that title. Sam, my hubby of almost 11 years, said "Misty's Brain Drain". I laughed and then thought that it fit perfectly with what I was planning on doing. This was my outlet to drain the stuff in my brain. A title was born. Thanks Sam!
Just so you are prepared for what's to come, I feel like I should warn/prepare you. I am very open with my life and my feelings. Of course there are those things in my life that I will keep private. Believe me, there are things you would THANK me to keep private. =)
I will not be crude, gross, nasty, vulgar or disrespectful. I will in no way, shape or form, EVER say anything on here that will compromise my beliefs. First and foremost, I am a daughter of God... saved by Jesus Christ through His grace and mercy and I am His disciple. In everything I do and say, I will try my best to honor Him and never cause Him shame because I love my Savior. After that, I am a wife and mother. I will never say anything on here that would bring my family shame either because I love my family.
All of that said, I am still a real human being with (sometimes) messed up thoughts and feelings. I am discovering new things about myself and my loved ones everyday. Sometimes they are things full of joy and wonder. Other days I want to just hide away from it all. I feel angry, sad, hurt, disappointed, lonely and scared. I also feel full of joy, peace, gratitude, love and hope. The really confusing times are when I feel several of these things at once.
This is what my blog will be about.
I hope to listen to what God is saying to me. I hope someone gets something out of my ramblings. I pray that God will use my words for His purpose.
Until next time,
Misty
That is where this blog comes in. This is my outlet. This is where I will lay it all on the line and get real with some things. I'm still a tad bit apprehensive. I mean, this is all about ME and MY thoughts and MY experiences. Who's gonna care? Maybe no one. Maybe someone. Definitely not everyone. If I've already lost you and you're saying "I don't care!!", then you have my apologies and you are excused from reading any further in my blog space. Ever. No really... don't humor me... don't read anymore. It will prevent you and I from experiencing undo frustration. =D
You may be wondering about the title of my blog. Misty's Brain Drain. My husband came up with that. I told him I was going to start a blog and that I was trying to come up with a title for it. I stated that I had thought of "Misty Unleashed", "Inside My Head", "Deep Thoughts by Misty" or "All Kinds Of Stuff". I was still seriously considering "Misty Unleashed", but I was afraid it would sound a little too doggy... and with a name like Misty, I have been compared to people's pets my entire life. I wasn't completely sold on that title. Sam, my hubby of almost 11 years, said "Misty's Brain Drain". I laughed and then thought that it fit perfectly with what I was planning on doing. This was my outlet to drain the stuff in my brain. A title was born. Thanks Sam!
Just so you are prepared for what's to come, I feel like I should warn/prepare you. I am very open with my life and my feelings. Of course there are those things in my life that I will keep private. Believe me, there are things you would THANK me to keep private. =)
I will not be crude, gross, nasty, vulgar or disrespectful. I will in no way, shape or form, EVER say anything on here that will compromise my beliefs. First and foremost, I am a daughter of God... saved by Jesus Christ through His grace and mercy and I am His disciple. In everything I do and say, I will try my best to honor Him and never cause Him shame because I love my Savior. After that, I am a wife and mother. I will never say anything on here that would bring my family shame either because I love my family.
All of that said, I am still a real human being with (sometimes) messed up thoughts and feelings. I am discovering new things about myself and my loved ones everyday. Sometimes they are things full of joy and wonder. Other days I want to just hide away from it all. I feel angry, sad, hurt, disappointed, lonely and scared. I also feel full of joy, peace, gratitude, love and hope. The really confusing times are when I feel several of these things at once.
This is what my blog will be about.
I hope to listen to what God is saying to me. I hope someone gets something out of my ramblings. I pray that God will use my words for His purpose.
Until next time,
Misty
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