Past... meet the future

It's been a while since I've written anything.  I think it's because I began to doubt myself and my need for spilling my guts (or draining my brain).  I mean, really... what could I possibly have to say that is any more profound than the last 72 inspirational memes you've seen on facebook or instagram?
My friend and brother, Eusi, challenged me last week to write again.  He actually found one of my old posts and called me out!  (Thanks again Eusi!)  :)
As soon as I accepted the challenge, I found my brain was blank.  No.  Not really blank.  But doubtful and unimpressive.  There was nothing that I felt the need to share.  No funny anecdotes, no clever cliche's and no "ah-ha moment" just waiting to be purged.
And then something happened.  God showed up.  Seriously.  Here's the story:

I got a phone call this morning from my first born.  He lives in Toledo now.  The armpit of America.  The "little dirty", lower Detroit, "little D"... whatever the nickname is.  From 90% of what I've heard and 85% of what I've read, it's not a pleasant place to live.  But I digress.

He was talking to me while he was walking back to his apartment after an appointment.  He was saying how cold it was, but it was beginning to warm up a little.  Then he was telling me about a jersey he saw at Goodwill that was for the official Nerf league.  Who knew there was such a thing?!?
During our nice little chat, a man approached him and I heard the entire exchange.

Now, before I proceed with this story, let me go back a little bit.

There's been a constant theme running in my mind for months/years now.  The PAST.  Specifically, the pasts of people I love.
For me personally, the past is uncomfortable.  When someone knows me from my younger years, it makes me squirm a bit.  I'm not the same person.  I don't even like that old person.  I did horrific things that I will forever be ashamed of.  Stupid things.  Things that would make me wanna smack my kids if they did them.  Haven't we all done some of those thing??

A couple of years ago, I wrote about a guy I met at work.  He was coming in to be admitted for drug addiction treatment.  He was in rough shape, but I heard the words "He's in the middle of his past" being whispered in my heart and it caused me to look at him differently.  Suddenly I was able to imagine what God created him to be in the first place.  I could see potential.  I could see hope and promise in his eyes.  And he was beautiful.  A beautiful mess.

How sad it is that we place labels on people because of something they've done?  Sadder still is the belief that we will never come out from under that label in God's eyes.

When our past is awful, when our choices have been careless, when our lives are messy because of our own doing, it's hard to imagine that God would still love us.  "Love us" is an understatement.  It's hard to imagine that God would go out of His way to speak to us and bless us and give us more than we hoped for.  It's especially hard if you're not a parent yourself.

I've been praying for my children fervently.  I've always prayed protection over them and for them to be blessed and know God's love.  But my prayers have been very specific lately.  For example, my son in Toledo has been going through some rough stuff.  And he's up in that city with no family and just a handful of friends to lean on.  He's been struggling with the twisted belief system I outlined above.  How could God still love him?  Why would God want to bless him?  Will his past always haunt him?  He's been digging into the Word and praying for direction and favor, but I know that he's always questioned these things.  So this momma's prayers have been specifically that God would bring someone to him to speak life into him.  Someone that would encourage him.  Someone that would tell truth and not harm him.  Someone that would remind him of who he is in God's eyes.

Now back to the conversation I was having with him.  He was walking along peacefully chatting with me about the mundane things of the day.
Then I hear a man's voice.  He said "Hey man, can I talk to you for a minute?"  Logan said yeah.  This man says "I just wanted to tell you that God loves you.  He created you and only one you.  He didn't create 600 of you... just one.  He has a purpose for your life.  He loves you enough to have me stop cleaning my mirrors and come tell you that.  He wants you to be reminded of His love for you and that you are His.  He is yours and you are His.  He sees all the things in your life and He wants you to just talk to Him about them.  He loves you so much that He died for you."  
Now let me explain something here.  This man was outside of his truck cleaning mirrors.  Logan said that he watched at least 2 or 3 people pass by him without him even looking up.  This man started to get in his truck to leave and saw Logan.  He got out of his truck and came up and started talking.  This man was tattooed, pierced, had dreadlocks hanging down his back and looked like a thug.  He had a really nice truck and Logan said he would have assumed he was a drug dealer from the appearance of things.
This man began to tell Logan about where he'd been.  He'd been in prison.  He was an angry man that would beat you up for giving him a dirty look.  He was addicted to drugs.  He was a bad dude.  He said that nobody loved him enough to tell him the truth when he was younger.  No one ever told him about Jesus.  No one ever told him that God loved him.  It wasn't until he was in the hospital that he found out about God and His love for him.

He talked with Logan for about 30 minutes.  I was privileged enough to hear the entire exchange.  I found myself in tears and raising my hands up and silently thanking God for sending this man to speak to Logan.  He was the answer to my many prayers.  He said the exact words Logan needed to hear.  He was the mouthpiece for God.  And God loved ME enough to allow me to hear my prayers being answered in a most unconventional way.

He hugged Logan a couple of times, gave him his number and told him if he needed anything, prayer or encouragement or answers to questions, to give him a call or text him and he'd be there for him.  This man was full of love and full of God.

After they parted ways, Logan said "Wow mom.  I'm pretty blown away.  First of all, I was beginning to wonder if God really existed in Toledo.  Secondly, I was ready to defend myself because he looked sketchy.  Then he says all that.  I'm pretty taken back."

I said "Logan... think about how much God loves you to do that for you.  I'm in awe."


I'm sharing all of this to encourage you that God really does hear your prayers.  God will come up with the most effective, creative way to answering.  Who would have guessed the events of yesterday?  I wouldn't.

We should not put limitations on God.  And we should never question if He loves us.  His promises are true.  His love is pure.

But here's the real point I want to get across.  Whatever your past is, it can be used to shape someone else's future.  God allowed you to experience your past for a reason.  Sometimes it's just for you to learn something right then.  Sometimes it's for someone else's benefit in the future.  Sometimes, most of the time, it's both.  Never never NEVER allow the lies of the enemy to tell you that your past will prevent God's blessings in the future.  And while you can still feel ashamed about the mistakes you've made in the past, you should NEVER believe that those mistakes will haunt you the rest of your life.  They don't have to.  Don't allow it.  Speak truth to yourself.  Remind yourself that you are forgiven.  Remind yourself that the past is left there... in the past.  Remind yourself that you're not the same person.

If you don't, then God might have to send a scary looking man with dreadlocks to tell you the truth on a street in Toledo.  I bet you'll listen then...