An oldie but a goodie!

I had this story in my computer files and thought I would resurrect it.  Enjoy and I hope it makes you think.
( It gets me every time!! )

Author Unknown 

The Room

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room.  There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index cards.  They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order…

But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings…

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “People I Have Liked”.  I opened it and began flipping through the cards.  I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one…

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.  This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life…

Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match.  A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening the files and exploring their content.  Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching…

A file names “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed”.  The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird.  “Books I Have Read”, “Lies I Have Told”, “Comfort I Have Given”, “Jokes I Have Laughed At”.  Some were almost hilarious in their exactness:  “Things I’ve Yelled at My Sister”.  Others I couldn’t laugh at:  “Things I Have Done in Anger”, “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents”…

I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.  Often there were many more cards than I expected.  Sometimes fewer than I hoped…

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived.  Could it be possible that I had the time in my 30 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards?  But each card confirmed this truth…

Each was written in my own handwriting.  Each signed with my signature…

When I pulled out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened to”, I realized the files grew to contain their contents.  The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file.  I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of the music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented…

When I came to a file marked “Lustful Thoughts”, I felt a chill run through my body.  I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card.  I shuddered at its detailed content.  I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded…

An almost animal rage broke in me.  One thought dominated my mind:  “No one must see these cards!  No one must ever see this room!  I have to destroy them!”…

In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out.  Its size didn’t matter now.  I had to empty it and burn the cards.  But as I took the drawer from one end and began pounding it on the ground, I could not dislodge a single card!  I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it strong as steel when I tried to tear it.  Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot…

Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long self-pitying sigh.  And then I saw it.  The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With”.  The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused.  I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands.  I could count the cards it contained on one hand…

And then the tears came.  I began to weep.  Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me.  I fell on my knees and cried.  I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all…

The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes.  No one must ever, ever know of this room.  I have to lock it up and hide the key…

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.  No, please not Him.  Not here.  Oh, anyone but Jesus.  I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards.  I couldn’t bear to watch His response.  And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.  He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes.  Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me across the room.  He looked at me with pity in His eyes.  But this was a pity that didn’t anger me.  I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again…

He walked over and put His arm around me.  He could have said so many things.  But He didn’t say a word.  He just cried with me.  Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files.  Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card…

“NO!” I shouted rushing to Him.  All I could find to say was “No, no” as I pulled the card from Him.  His name shouldn’t be on these cards.  But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive.  The name of Jesus covered mine…

It was written with His blood.  He gently took the card back.  He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards.  I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side…

He said, “It is Finished” and walked out of the room.  There was no lock on the door.  There were still cards to be written…

Floods are Coming!

It's raining.  Again.  
I've heard several people talk over the last few days about floods.  Most of these people lived through the devastation of a flood in the past.  They've seen the damage firsthand and they are fully aware of the possibilities.  They speak of floods with a bit of fear in their voices.


What do we know of floods?  We know that they destroy.  We know that they are capable of killing.  We know that they can happen in an instant... or slowly over time.  We know that there are many different circumstances that can cause floods.  


While talking with a co-worker, I had a revelation of sorts.  Bear with me while I try to sort this out and make it useful for all of us.
He was talking about the flood a few years ago that hit Columbus and Franklin HARD.  There were hundreds of homes and businesses devastated by the flood waters.  He said that there was a huge amount of water coming in the basement of our business, so they tried pumping it out.  They thought they were having success until they realized that more water was coming in. The flood waters weren't rising any more and the rain had stopped... where was the water coming from? They finally figured out that the ground around our building was so saturated that the water being pumped out had nowhere else to go but back inside!  They were very busy pumping water out only to have it come right back in!  Talk about fighting a losing battle...!!


Over the weekend, my church, Grace Assembly of God, put on a production called "The Last Adam".  It was a very clear message of Jesus and our need for a Savior and how/when sin came into the world.  There was a scene about Noah and the ark God told him to build to escape the coming flood and save his family and animals.  We all know the story in its most simplistic form, but think of the magnitude of flooding the entire earth!  Katrina was NOTHING comparatively speaking!


That was when I had a thought... 
What if the flood was of LIVING WATER? 

In John chapter 4, Jesus spoke about this living water while having a conversation with a Samaritan woman.  Read it. 


Lets go back to what we know of floods...
*We know that they destroy.  So what would a flood of living water destroy?  It would destroy pride, anger, addictions, hate, fear, hopelessness, sin.

*We know that they are capable of killing.  What would living water kill?  It would kill the sinful man... the human natured man... the double minded man.  


*We know that they can happen in an instant... or slowly over time. 


There is a Hillsong United song that we sing at our church called "Welcome In This Place".  Some of the lyrics are:


Rise up within me
Living Water
Spirit of God in me

You are welcome in this place
You are welcome in this place
God of power love and grace
Saturate my soul

My sincerest prayer today is that Jesus would cause His living water FLOOD your soul and destroy the things that are destroying you.

I don't care if it happens instantly or over a period of time, I just pray that it happens.  

And I pray that the floods would saturate your soul so that the living water would flow freely out of you in such abundance that it has no where else to go but back to you.

 Let the floods begin!!!!

Life Sentence or Full Pardon?

Once in a while, I watch this show called "Lockup".  It's a documentary style show focusing on people kept in prison.  It's sometimes sad, sometimes funny and always thought provoking.  There have been a few times that it's been very scary and disturbing to watch (and that's why I limit my time watching it).
There was one episode in particular where the prisoner being interviewed changed his demeanor and countenance so quickly that it scared the interviewer.  He went from jovial and cheery to sneering and hateful in 2.6 seconds.  One of the guards noticed the difference in him and immediately put a stop to the interview for the safety of the film crew.  The warden said that he was normally a very cordial inmate and had experienced only minimal behavioral problems from him... until recently.  Apparently, the prisoner had gotten worse as time went on.
 
The interviewer found another guy who was sitting in his cell reading his Bible.  He had been in prison for quite a while and it was for murder.  He had killed someone in a drunken rage.  Since his incarceration, he had earned his GED, taken some college courses, learned 3 languages (2 fluently) and had read the Bible through many, many times.  He also led a chapel meeting twice a week for other inmates.  He had changed in a different way while in prison.

What was the difference between these two men?  Why had one gotten worse and the other gotten better?  They were both incarcerated for murder, both had been there for over 20 years, they both had the same resources at their disposal, and they came from very similar backgrounds... Didn't seem to make sense...

I've spent some time thinking of various types of prisons lately.  Of course there's the example I just gave of the  literal prison.  Then there's the physical prison due to physical limitations on the body (ie. broken leg, brain damage, neurological diseases, etc.) and spiritual prison of the soul and various mental prisons.

I have this vision of being in prison and Jesus comes to visit me.  He sits outside my cell and just keeps me company.  We talk and laugh and cry together.  And then He hands me a key and teaches me how to use it.  It is my key to freedom.  I see the key.  I hold the key.  He tells me how to use the key.  I try once and I fail.  He encourages me to try again.  I try again, but I didn't do things exactly as He said and I fail again.  He encourages me still.  I finally listen to Him and He was right!!  It worked and I am finally freed from my cell!!    As I walk out of my prison, I see other prisoners trying to get out.  They are using their own materials and making their own keys and they don't work. They're using what appear to be keys, but they are not real. They get frustrated and angry.  They keep trying other methods, but none work.  They are all alone in their quest for freedom and they don't have anyone encouraging them to keep trying.  I ask Jesus to go help them with their freedom too and He says "You asked for my help.  Some have not.  Others have, but won't do what I say.  They're not ready to give up their own way yet."

I see people everyday trying to escape from their prisons. They try things on their own and they continually fail.  Over and over, time after time, they try and fail.  When will they learn?  What will it take for them to finally realize that they do not hold the keys to freedom?    Sometimes they go to friends for advice... and then they quickly realize that their friends are simply fellow prisoners with their own cells they're trying to escape.  They have no answers... not REAL answers.
 
Only One does.  His name is Jesus.  He holds the keys to your freedom.  Are you tired of trying on your own yet?

Oblivious!!

Oblivious people.  People who are not consciously aware of what is going on around them.   You see them all the time and may even be one yourself.  *gasp!*  You are so wrapped up in whatever YOU have going on that you miss life happening all around you.

One of my pet peeves is to be in the grocery store and have some woman take up the entire aisle as if she owns it... completely unaware of the crowds standing around her.  We just want her to choose her peanut butter and get out of the way!  An aware person realizes that there is plenty of room in a grocery store aisle for two carts to go through in opposite directions.  Think traffic on the road... this is how it should be done.  The oblivious person walks with her cart directly in the middle of the aisle so that she can get to things on both sides more conveniently.  The oblivious person is demonstrating her belief that it's "all about me" and could care less that you are even in existence.  So annoying!

Sometimes I wish I were more oblivious.  Let's face it... it's easier.

*I want to cry for the woman in the checkout lane who has a newborn and just gave the cashier WIC vouchers and everyone in line behind her just looked at their watch and sighed a sigh of inconvenience.
*I want to go to the grocery store and get enough food for the weekend for the homeless man holding up a sign stating he's hungry and will do work for food.
*I want to smack the woman who swears at her child and calls them stupid.
*I want to hug the addict who is at the end of their rope and is relying on the hope that other people hold for him because he has none of his own left to hold on to.

If I were oblivious, I wouldn't notice these things and they wouldn't bother me as much as they do.

God didn't make me oblivious.  Actually, I don't think He made ANYONE oblivious... we make ourselves that way.  Pride, pain, resentment, anger, foolishness... all these and more can make you oblivious to the truth going on around you.

Start paying attention.  Take a moment to look around you and see what God sees.  Make it a point to NOT be oblivious today.  What do you see?  What should you do about it?

 

 

Random Love

I was sitting at work today, drowning in files that needed auditing and bills that needed paying... when out of nowhere, my phone *dings* and let me know I had a text message.  The message read "I love you mom" and it was from my youngest son, Garrett.  I wore a nice grin for quite some time after I read that.  Of course I replied that I love him too.  You have to understand that we are a very affectionate family and we frequently express how we feel (good, bad and ugly), so it's not like the sentiment itself surprised me... it was the randomness of it that caught me off guard.  **POOF**  He thought of me and loves me.  Cool.  It made my day.

I have a handful of friends that mean a great deal to me.  They are there for me through thick and thin... they double my joys and divide my pains.  My friends are tried and true and absolutely irreplaceable.  I usually don't hang up the phone after talking to them without telling them that I love them.  It may seem weird to some, but I learned a long time ago that it just may be the last chance I have to tell them how I feel... so I take the opportunity and try not to let it slip by.  I have another friend who encourages me frequently with random texts saying things like "I'm glad you're in my life", "Thank you for being there for me" and of course "I love you".  It brings a smile to my heart every time.

Anyway, about 2 hours after I received the text from my son, I was auditing client files (yes... STILL) and I was listening to KLOVE on the computer.  A song caught my attention and I began to think about the blessings in my life and how every single one was a gift from my Heavenly Father.  I just whispered "I love you God".  Then I wondered if that made Him smile the way my son's random love made me smile.  I imagine it did.   I hope so.  I really want to make God smile.

Easier to Give than to Receive

The Word of God says "...it is more blessed to give than to receive." (Acts 20:35)  Non-Christians repeat this portion of scripture like it's theirs... like it's a profound new way of thinking.  What's worse is that it's usually put in a context of false humility after giving a nice gift of some kind.  Sad.

Anyone who has given a gift that the receiver loves knows this verse is true.  There is so much joy in giving my kids the perfect gift at Christmas or giving a friend a little gift that is unexpected.  It's FUN to have that kind of joy from giving.

I learned something yesterday and continued learning it tonight.  Not only is it more blessed to give than to receive, but it's much EASIER to give than to receive.  It is very uncomfortable to receive something for yourself... at least it is for me.  My husband asks "What do you want for Christmas?" and I reply "I don't know.  Nothing really.  I have everything I need and most things I want."  He gets frustrated.  Understandable.  I'd be frustrated too.  I'm getting better at naming exactly what I want from him (after him pleading with me for10 years), but it's still uncomfortable for me.  I know I'm not alone in this... am I??

  

It causes a problem when I don't ask for help from my friends or ask for prayer from my loved ones.  Why do I do that?  I know that I'm having a hard time with something or that I am having some physical problems, but I don't go to the ones I trust most in my life and say I need HELP!!  Why?  I guess it boils down to pride.  I don't want to be weak or dependent on someone else, so I "deal" with it on my own.  How's that workin' for me, you ask?  Not too well.  It would work a lot better if I had prayer warriors lifting me up.  That's a guarantee.  

One of my friends found out about a physical issue I've been dealing with and her question to me was "How am I supposed to pray for you if I don't know what you need prayer for?"  Good question.  I have no answer.  There is no answer.  She needed to know.  I should have told her.  She needed to be given the opportunity to GIVE and, in turn, be blessed by giving to me.  I think I am being a pest if I ask for prayer.  In actuality,  I am robbing my friend of a blessing when I don't ask.  I think I am being self-sufficient.  In actuality, I need to be dependent on God and His people because that's how he created it to be.  I think that other people have it far worse than I do and I am being a whiner if I say I need help.  In actuality, someone will always have it worse than I do, but that's does not lessen my need and it does not make me a bratty, needy child...it actually makes me mature and humble when I ask for help.

I'd still rather give than receive, but God's showing me that receiving isn't just for me...it's so others can receive too.  I'm still learning...

Lord, help me receive from you and from those around me who are working on Your behalf.  

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

Sometimes it's hard to tell the truth from a lie.  Lies come in all shapes and sizes.

Some are blatant lies and when you hear them, you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing at the person trying to persuade you of its authenticity.  "I used to be an English professor at a major university", says the man who can't spell any word above a 5th grade reading level.  Those are the kinds of lies that are sad and humorous at the same time.  The thing that always baffles me about those kinds of lies is the fact that the liar is obviously assuming that the hearer is a moron.  =/
There are other lies that are sneaky and manipulative in nature.  "I'm sure their parents will be home during the party, mom."  It's believable.  It might even be true.  As a parent, you know to check anyway.  Those sneaky, manipulative lies are the ones that we parents come to expect.  (I am SO happy when I'm proven wrong!)

I used to lie.  I used to lie A LOT!  I lied to be accepted, to stay out of trouble, to lessen the punishment of trouble I was already in, to manipulate and, sometimes, for no real reason at all.  No reason at all... really?  Yep, really.  What could possibly be the reason for lying about what you had for lunch?  Mom asked, "What did you have for lunch today?" and I replied "Pizza" knowing full well that my body was still digesting the hamburger and fries I had ingested a couple hours earlier.  Why did I lie?  I have no idea.  Sometimes I think it was just to see if someone would believe it.  The more people believed the stupid lies, the more confidence I gained in my ability to lie.  So then I got braver with my lies.  It was a never ending cycle.
 
Praise God, I don't have that issue anymore.  I find the truth liberating and I find honesty refreshing.  That's why I love being around kids...especially ages 2-5.  They have no idea how to be "politically correct" or careful with their words.  They tell it like it is.  What a welcome break from adult rhetoric that is!   I don't have to guess how they feel and I LOVE that!!

If you are reading this, and I have hurt you in the past by lying to you, please accept this as my sincere apology.  I know I hurt many people with my lies and it's a regret that I live with daily.  No, I don't think I'm blowing this out of proportion... lies hurt.  There's a reason why God hates lies.

Truth is always the best policy.  Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it's hard, but it's still God's design.  Of course there is wisdom and tact and they should absolutely play a part in the telling of the truth to someone.  Sugar coat it if necessary, but tell the TRUTH.